How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
