i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
His hands were made for my vagina.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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