Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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