Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
