I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
