I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
