dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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