Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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