didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
