Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I wear drunk well.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
