Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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