Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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