He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
