She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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