I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
