i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
