i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
