you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
