im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
