wat bout pragnant strippers??
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
