He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
