I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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