Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
