i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
