hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
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