So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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