we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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