Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I intend to get homeless drunk
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize