My boss' voice literally gives me gas
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
