ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
