Already got asked if we're dating
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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