make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize