What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
