everyone is single if you try hard enough
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
