he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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