i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
When did angry sex become our thing?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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