i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
