my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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