i think i have two assholes
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
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