I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
