he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize
