Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
