i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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