I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
There r osticjed everywhere
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
