the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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