a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
