bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize