At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Boobs are out for the taking
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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