would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize