Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
