I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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