so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
