i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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