Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
