I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
