my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
