I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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