if only i could text you this smell
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize