He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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