Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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