Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
