Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
