How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
